Upheaval Seems To Have Lasted Too Long! Have I permanently damaged myself?

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Tim	Upheaval Seems To Have Lasted Too Long! Have I permanently damaged myself?	Lead	[-]
Posts: 1 (09/25/09 09:58:10) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Tags : holosync, upheaval, damage I started the Awakening Prologue about 5 months ago. Initially the upheaval was very drastic and I tended to cry a lot. When I had used Awakening Prologue for 4 months I decided to take a month off to see if I would feel mentally better. I had not felt better! The techniques (compassion meditation, Eckhart Tolle's 'body awareness') that carried me me so far in dealing with my anxiety and other issues, prior to Holosync have not worked. I'm worried that Holosync has permanently placed me in a funk. I would like to know if anyone else feels the same way I do and if there is any way out of it. I regret using Holosync if I can't feel how I felt before beginning the program. I have just started Awakening 1 in the hope that it will help me push through my feelings. -Tim
Gemstar11		#1	[-]
Posts: 153 (09/25/09 17:04:01) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	It is doubtful in that short of a period that there would have been any irreversible damage done by Holosync. What I'm curious about is why you didn't just return the Awakening Prologue CD for a refund, rather than to stop it for a month, and THEN move onto an even deeper level. Did you not read the information with AP that said basically "Do not go on to the next level if you are experiencing upheaval"? If you stop using the program altogether, most likely in a reasonable length of time (probably a month of so), you'll probably feel better. If you wish to continue, I'd suggest you read the "Evolution" material you got with AL1 for helpful hints on how to deal with your upheaval, but I'd also suggest moving back to AP until you ARE clear of upheaval. Some people can only tolerate every other day for a while. Also, if you have any Gamma CD's (thinking you might if you've been doing compassion meditation), alternating with Holosync might also work. But see my next note, below. You mentioned "anxiety and other issues" so I'm wondering if you were on an SSRI med for any of this - if so, it is probably NOT a good idea to be doing Holosync anyways (see my post in this thread), and probably something you should have discussed with your doctor. You still may want to do so.
zeninheels		#2	[-]
Posts: 11 (09/26/09 02:35:59) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hi Tim, I basically agree with Gemstar. Rather than move up a level, I would go back to AP if you're going to carry on using Holosync. I used AP for about six months before moving on to AL1. There is advice on treating short-term depression associated with using Holosync in the back of the "Evolutionary Change" book you'll have received with AL1. The recommendation is to change your posture, or possibly to look at the thoughts you get when you feel in a funk. If it's longer term, clinical depression, then you need to speak to your doctor. I get bouts of depression with Holosync and in the past found that it was an attempt by my brain to cope with the material coming up. I find that when I look at the thoughts running through my head and the things I'm reacting to, I can clear the depressive feelings and move forward to feeling much freer. But then I guess I'm what you might call a "staunch Holosyncer", so take that advice with a pinch of salt. Take care, J x
stephenh		#3	[-]
Posts: 6 (09/26/09 02:53:51) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	The symptoms may be parts of the process, that your old Map of Reality doesn't fit to your changing reality anymore. So your old 'you' clings to its old way of seeing things which ultimately might be one reason for depression. Or you've hit some suppressed old hurt and anger, which are covered up by the depressive feelings. As Bill writes in 'Managing Evolutionary Growth', depression is one coping mechanism in order to save the old system from being flooded by excess energy and having to reorganize at a higher level. The ego shuts down in order to avoid facing an unwanted truth or getting overwhelmed by too much energy. I agree with gemstar and zeninheels that it would be best to go back to AP until the overwhelm has evened out.
soaringeagleflyinghigh		#4	[-]
Posts: 276 (09/26/09 12:41:24) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I got to level 4 and the upheaval was so bad, I went back to level 2 and worked my way back up again. I have been on AL4.4 for almost one year. It's finally starting to get less powerful but I can still feel it. It's different for everyone.
Tim		#5	[-]
Posts: 2 (09/26/09 17:46:39) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Thanks for the replies, everyone! One thing I am still unclear on is why did my negative feelings persist even though I stopped Holosync for about a month?
Gemstar11		#6	[-]
Posts: 154 (09/26/09 18:24:12) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Tim wrote: Thanks for the replies, everyone! One thing I am still unclear on is why did my negative feelings persist even though I stopped Holosync for about a month? Probably because we seem to listen more to negative self-talk than to be able to talk ourselves up into a positive mind-frame. So it's probably not so much of a persistency caused by Holosync, but getting stuck at an uncomfortable place that Holosync uncovered. I would highly recommend that anyone who has uncomfortable feelings coming up, understand that those uncomfortable feelings are actually your friend (just as pain is a friend, in a protective way), because the feelings are helping you to see that things are needing to change. It's similar to physical pain in that at times the brain gets stuck on a certain pain, long after the need is there for that pain to protect the individual from further harming themselves. So the "charge" you get from Holosync will undoubtedly push you in uncomfortable ways if you are resisting (even unconsciously) the changes coming up. You probably didn't go long enough to start recognizing some of this consciously. Using The Sedona Method to clear out unwanted feelings (which is highly recommended by Centerpointe, and many people on this forum have used it) is one way to deal with them. Another, if the feelings are strong and perhaps related to earlier trauma, is to seek out a good hypnotherapist who understands how to properly use age regression techniques to clear up the mess and get you back on track. I think Bill Harris recognized this as well, and developed his Life Principles Courses to assist Holosyncers, in particular, with working with their individual maps of reality. From my own experiences, and observations of many others on a couple of different forums, I'm probably not far off the mark in saying most individuals need some adjunct (natural, not pharmaceutical) help when using Holosync, at least initially.
Tim		#7	[-]
Posts: 3 (09/28/09 04:41:17) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I have so many mental problems that I don't know what to do! I don't see a way out!
stephenh		#8	[-]
Posts: 7 (09/28/09 09:03:07) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Do any kind of exercise, maybe yoga, did they send you the "Managing Evolutionary Growth" booklet? There you find a lot of help.
Tim		#9	[-]
Posts: 4 (09/29/09 00:39:50) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I run for about an hour each day and I still feel like crap since beginning Holosync. Sometimes I think I must have been someone really evil in a past life to warrant such mental torment. I'm not trying to get people to feel bad for me, far from it. I just want to be happy!
stephenh		#10	[-]
Posts: 8 (09/29/09 03:01:33) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Sounds pretty wicked... I mean, I'm going to share a bit bit from my extensive reading, not that I have a lot of experience, since my resistance is so high that it keeps me from practising these techniques even though I know that they might be beneficial: As gemstar recommended you could try the Sedona method. It's pretty easy to learn, if you can't afford to buy it you could get it as bittorrent. Instead of fighting and resisting limiting and unwanted feelings the Sedona method is about allowing to feel them as best as one possibly can and then let go. What you try is to prevent letting in more energy (depression) and at the same time dispersing energy (jogging). Overwhelm actually is a good sign because your current 'you' is going into chaos before it has to reorganize. By fighting this process you prevent it from happening. Instead work with the energy and watch what it does with your body (what kind of emotions occur, where are they, what kind of intensity etc. => numbness and boredom are feelings as well!), what are your thoughts, what do they cause you to feel like. In other words: Examine how do you do 'being depressed'. What does it feel like and so on. Take a witness perspective instead of getting overly involved into your stuff. Watch your self as the person having these thoughts and feelings, instead of being these thoughts and feeling. As Bill Harris has stated over and over again: The map isn't the territory, your 'self', your concept of who you are and how you relate to the rest of the world, isn't who you are. By fighting it you only slow down the process. Another method is called Focusing and was discovered by Eugene Gendlin: Sit with your eyes closed and create a "space" around your feelings. Like a little bubble between you and the problematic emotion. Feel it in your body, where it is located, how it feels like, is it intense, numb, does it move, is it pulsating, getting weaker, stronger etc. etc. Watch it and ask questions like "Why are you hear? What are you trying to tell me?" etc. Be curious and watch any shifts and changes. Do it as long as you feel a felt shift that means that you feel like a burden is taken from you, you feel lighter. The quality of the emotion should have definitely changed in a positive direction. Keep sitting, watching and asking until you're absolutely sure that a shift has happened. Experienced focusers can attain quite a number of shifts during one session. Last Edited By: stephenh 09/29/09 07:59:15. Edited 1 times.
Rangeswar		#11	[-]
Posts: 1 (12/07/09 15:02:31) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hey Tim, i've been hurt by Holosync also. i'm particularly supersensitive though (cannot use mobile phones for more than a few seconds without sinister side effects to the brain, and even unecessary administration of pure oxygen caused me temporary brain damage in the past). istopped using the dive cd after only 21 minutes on my first listen. i experienced a sharp pain to the right side of my skull, and my brain still hurts some days later. it appears to have hurt me physiologically also (digestion). it didn't suit me at all, although it did calm me down alright -because i felt i had to keep the brain still and not talk or listen too deeply. like suffering from some sort of head trauma. definitely not for me. i'm hoping everything heals o.k. Goodness!
WhirlyBird		#12	[-]
Posts: 231 (12/22/09 15:32:37) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	My advice would be to stop HS and don't plan to go back. Obviously, you have a a central nervous system that is very dysregulated. All the HS in the world won't fix this disfunction. If you want a real tested technological method of helping you should check out neurofeedback, or better yet, look into LENS (low energy neurofeedback system) for righting your CNS. I too have a very dysfunctional CNS and all HS ever did was make me more depressed and give me panic attacks. Btw, I'm not entirely buying this crap that Bill has sold on how HS works. Sure, he has the evolution/chaos-higher-order part right, but the whole crap about "stuff" needing to come to conscious awareness is a little too flaky and new age for me to buy (I used to buy all that crap). Anyway, what's really happening is that you are putting too much stress on a system that is already damaged and it's likely being damaged even more. There is a term in neurology called "brain kindling" and what that means is a damaged CNS being exposed to further stress, which results in a "flare up" (analogy to putting kindling on an already existing fire, thus causing it to rage). Your CNS is just being further damaged and thus going into a rage, causing your symptoms to become much worse. It's time for some of you to look into to some real science and facts, rather than listening to some pseudo guru who thinks he's got all the answers on how our brain works. It just makes me mad to see this kind of stuff happening to people.